“Whose Voice Is That in Your Head? (Spoiler: It’s Not Yours)”

Let’s start with a simple question that most high performers never think to ask:

Whose voice is running your life?

Not the one you use to lead meetings or give interviews—the one behind closed doors. The one that speaks up when you miss a deadline, flub a pass, or don’t get the outcome you worked your ass off for.

That voice.

The one that whispers (or shouts),

• “You should’ve known better.”

• “You’re not as good as they think.”

• “Don’t screw this up.”

Here’s the truth:

That voice isn’t yours.

You were taught it.

You absorbed it.

You inherited it—from coaches, parents, teammates, bosses, culture, trauma.

And it’s probably been running the show longer than you realize.

The High Performer’s Inner Critic

If you’re a leader, an athlete, or someone who operates under pressure, chances are your inner voice is more drill sergeant than coach.

You’ve achieved a lot, no doubt.

But let’s be real: Is it joy-fueled—or fear-fueled?

Because even the most elite performers can be driven by a script that says:

• “You’re only valuable when you win.”

• “You don’t get to rest.”

• “There’s always someone coming for your spot.”

  
  

At some point, you stopped checking if those rules made sense.

You just followed them.

Where That Voice Comes From

Here’s what no one teaches you:

Your inner dialogue was programmed.

And like any code, it can be updated.

The original scripts often come from:

• A parent who thought criticism was love.

• A coach who confused tough love with emotional abuse.

• A workplace where burnout was normalized and boundaries weren’t.

When those voices get repeated enough, they become yours by default—not by choice.

But here’s the kicker: You get to choose now.

How to Take the Mic Back

Try this:

1. Catch the voice.

   Next time you mess up or doubt yourself, pause. Ask: Who am I hearing right now?

2. Name the source.

   Is it your old coach? A critical parent? A toxic boss? Identifying the source weakens its grip.

3. Decide if it still serves you.

   Would you let someone talk to your team the way you talk to yourself? Then why is it OK in your own head?

4. Rewrite the line.

   Replace it with something powerful and believable. Not fake positivity—just grounded truth.

   Old Script: “You’re going to blow this.”

   New Script: “You’ve handled bigger pressure than this. You know what to do.”

Power Starts with Awareness

You don’t need to shout affirmations in the mirror to change your life.

You just need to listen differently.

Start paying attention to what you’re saying when no one’s watching.

Because the conversations you have with yourself?

They are the foundation of your leadership, your performance, and your peace.

Bottom line:

If the voice in your head isn’t building you—it’s time to question whose it really is.

And it’s time to take the mic back.

Want to go deeper? In my keynote, I break down the exact process to identify, rewrite, and rewire the scripts running your mind. Because once you can hear the old tape…

you can stop playing it.

Jackie Miller inspiring others during a workshop

Your moments are waiting to be transformed. Are you ready to unlock your power?